The honest operating system for dishonest times. Finally, a platform that acknowledges what we all know but pretend not to see.
Every startup begins with dreams of "changing the world." Every enterprise initiative promises to be "game-changing." Every new platform claims to be "revolutionary."
But here's what we've learned from decades of watching the tech industry: Everything eventually turns to shit. That revolutionary blockchain solution? Shit. That AI-powered disruption? Shit. That digital transformation initiative? Premium, enterprise-grade shit.
PoopOS is the first operating system built on this fundamental truth. Instead of pretending otherwise, we help you manage, categorize, and properly dispose of the inevitable waste that your organization produces.
"In a world full of digital waste, the honest platform is the one that admits it's a waste management system."
True operational maturity means spending $500K on consultants to save $200K in costs. Our Process Improvement suite helps you track every dollar you're "saving" while carefully avoiding any calculation of what you spent to save it.
When growth is off the table, the only metric that matters is how efficiently you're treading water. PoopOS provides the tools to measure, optimize, and present your stagnation as strategic discipline.
"Why plant new seeds when you can squeeze the last drops from a dying crop? Efficiency isn't about doing things right—it's about doing less things, period."
Real testimonials from companies who've embraced the truth about their output
"Our 'AI-powered solution' was actually just a spreadsheet with extra steps. PoopOS helped us rebrand it honestly as 'Organized Corporate Waste.'"— Jennifer L., VP of Digital Transformation
"We spent $2M on a blockchain solution that nobody asked for. PoopOS accurately classified it as 'Premium Enterprise Shit' within minutes."— David R., Chief Innovation Officer
"Our Adjusted EBITDA was 4x our actual EBITDA. The PoopOS Adjustment Suite helped us keep track of which version we'd told to which stakeholder."— Richard K., Operating Partner
"We promised 40% synergies to close the deal. Three years later, we've achieved 8% and fired the integration team. PoopOS helped us present this as 'substantial progress against targets.'"— Amanda L., VP of Corporate Development
"I've been telling LPs we're '18 months from exit' for six years. The Exit Mirage Dashboard helped me track my own bullshit."— James T., Managing Director
"Finally, a platform that admits what we all know—90% of our product roadmap is just organized waste. PoopOS helped us properly categorize our failures."— Sarah J., Former Startup Founder
At PoopOS, we believe that honesty is the first step toward recovery. We're building tools that help organizations acknowledge their dysfunction, measure their waste production, and optimize their decay.
We're not here to fix your company. We're here to help you understand exactly how broken it is, and to present that brokenness in the most appealing light possible.
We tell you what everyone's thinking but afraid to say.
Every metric tells a story of decline.
Making failure look like strategy since 2025.
Always improving at getting worse.
Join the thousands of companies who've stopped pretending and started managing their waste honestly.