Pricing

Honest pricing for honest waste management. Choose the plan that matches your level of corporate dysfunction.

Choose Your Level of Honesty

All plans include our core reality-check features. Upgrade for advanced bullshit detection and industrial-scale waste management.

Startup Shit

$29/month

Perfect for small teams just discovering their capacity for waste production

  • Track up to 10 failed MVPs
  • Basic bullshit detection
  • Buzzword analysis dashboard
  • Reality check notifications
  • Founder delusion index
  • Burn rate optimization
  • Pivot tracking (up to 5 pivots)
Start Free Trial

14-day free trial, no credit card required

MOST POPULAR

Corporate Crap

$99/month

For established companies with mature waste management needs

  • Unlimited project graveyard
  • Advanced meeting waste analytics
  • Synergy bullshit translator
  • Executive excrement insights
  • KPI meaninglessness index
  • Consultant spending tracker
  • Reorg impact assessment
  • Budget vs reality comparison
  • Customer churn euphemism generator
Start Free Trial

14-day free trial, priority support

Harvest Mode

$199/month

For companies transitioning from growth to "efficiency"

  • Headcount reduction templates
  • "Doing more with less" email generator
  • Automated suggestion responses
  • "We'll revisit post-conditions" bot
  • Efficiency theater dashboards
  • Cost-cutting celebration toolkit
  • Strategic pause communications
  • Runway extension calculator
  • Exit strategy timeline manager
Start Free Trial

7-day free trial, includes onboarding

Enterprise Excrement

$499/month

Industrial-scale waste production for Fortune 500 companies

  • Multi-department failure tracking
  • C-suite reality distortion field
  • Consultant output categorization
  • Transformation theater metrics
  • Board-level waste reporting
  • Acquisition integration disaster tracking
  • Synergy realization mirage dashboard
  • Cross-functional dysfunction mapping
  • Enterprise-wide delusion monitoring
  • Custom bullshit taxonomy
Contact Sales

Custom implementation, dedicated success manager

Feature Comparison

See exactly what level of corporate dysfunction management you'll get with each plan

Feature Startup Shit Corporate Crap Harvest Mode Enterprise
Failed MVP Tracking Up to 10 Unlimited Unlimited Unlimited
Bullshit Detection Basic Advanced Advanced AI-Powered
Executive Excrement Analysis
Consultant Spending Tracker
Efficiency Theater Dashboards
Custom Bullshit Taxonomy
Support Level Email Priority Phone + Email Dedicated Manager

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this a real product?

As real as your company's commitment to "digital transformation" and about as useful as your last strategic offsite.

Can I get a discount if I'm already producing premium-grade corporate waste?

Absolutely. We offer volume discounts for companies that have truly embraced their dysfunction. Contact sales for a custom quote based on your current bullshit output metrics.

What if PoopOS doesn't integrate with our existing shit?

Don't worry—we've designed PoopOS to work seamlessly with all major sources of corporate waste, from legacy systems to modern "cloud-native" disasters. Our integration team has seen it all.

Do you offer training for our team?

Yes, but honestly, your team is probably already experts at producing corporate waste. Our training focuses on properly categorizing and presenting it.

What's your refund policy?

Like most SaaS companies, we'll make it just difficult enough that you'll keep paying rather than deal with the cancellation process. It's very on-brand for us.

Ready to Embrace Reality?

Stop pretending your initiatives matter. Start managing them honestly with PoopOS.

Start Free Trial Explore Features

All plans include a 14-day free trial. No credit card required for basic reality checks.

🚨 SATIRICAL CONTENT: This is a philosophical commentary on corporate shenanigans, not to be taken too seriously.